Siting

Guerrilla dancers recently joined forces with an OSU campus group "Best Day of Your Life" and were caught on camera. Check it out:

http://www.thelantern.com/multimedia/osu-s-best-day-of-your-life-1.1484379

Club Dancing

This is a slight departure for this blog: I tend to write in direct relation to "guerrilla dancing," or rather, the times when I say "Now I'm going to dance as part of my project!!"

yet, last night something stuck out to me like a sore thumb. I took a trip to a local bar of downtown Columbus to dance with some friends of mine. While we were there doing our thing on the dance floor amidst the bumping, grinding, and awkward shifting of feet most displayed, one person stood out. There was this really short (5 footish), slightly husky, spectacled, semi-attractive guy dancing his heart out...all by himself. On a dance floor where almost everyone is either with a group, dancing with a partner, or if alone is on the side looking for another to dance with, this guy was truly outside of what seemed to be that dance floor's norm. For quite some time though, he just kept going, as if it was the last night he'd ever be able to dance again. It wasn't as if he was dancing - "like no one was watching" - but instead as if he was completely aware of his surroundings, and was simply unaffected: he wanted to dance, his way, and so he did.

Within 15-20 minutes after he began dancing, girls started to approach him. First it was just one, then another, and soon a space had been cleared, he was surrounded by a crowd, and several girls took their turn (sometimes two at a time) to dance with him. Even then, while he did seem to be enjoying himself, his face showed no sign of "yeah! look at how many girls I'm getting, and everyone is watching me!" instead his expression stayed in a place of somewhat of a solemn, internal focus. In a place where just about everyone followed a set of rules, rules that depended on others in just about every case, the one person who was gathering the most amount of positive attention was the one who had little to no dependency on the thoughts, support, or perspective of others - even when he was flooded with all those "power in numbers" social supports. He was never tempted to let it affect him; nothing seemed important except for that moment in which he was doing what he enjoyed; and this continued to be true when the crowd had dissipated and he was back to soloing again.

interesting

Blind Man

A blind man asked us to dance today. It hit me as a monumental happening. I feel like there are about 50 million potent meanings (probably related to my documentary) that I could find within that event. But what could they be?

My initial thought is simply the fact that most people are going to pay attention to a blind man attempting to dance, and that there is a potential for embarrassment. Why would he decide to be involved then? Especially when he is perfectly aware (he said as much) that he doesn't know how to dance - he wanted to be taught.

It all makes me wonder if he simply doesn't realize the social implications of a blind person attempting to dance, an act - while mainly kinesthetic - is largely learned via the visual sense. It seems obvious to me that everyone will be looking at him...but maybe that's the point. He probably, as someone who did not grow up seeing, has little to no concept of others looking at him, and him (as a result) getting embarrassed. It probably does not cross his mind in the same way as one who can see.

But he must have some concept of others awareness of him. I wonder what makes him embarrassed then. Especially because I usually feel embarrassment when I feel others' eyes on me. I am so interested in talking to him, and knowing why he finds such an interest in dancing, and if the thought of embarrassment even crossed his mind. Simply because, well, most people I talk to don't want to join the dancing simply because of fear of embarrassment.

Soloing - Slow Walk

I talked earlier about consequences, and I think this event that happened to me recently while guerrillering around the town provided a viable petri dish (if you will) to look at just such a concept.

Today was my first slow walk (another type of experiment, similar to the soloing, that I am going to start). Basically, I just walked from one location to another really slowly. We did some slow moving type activities last quarter, but we did out of the ordinary actions (like pretending to race really slowly) while today I engaged in everyday actions, with one simple difference: speed.

So, I went to Brenen's (a nearby cafe), and walked from the entrance to the counter. Early on in my journey, the girl behind the counter told me that I "was creeping her out. But I don't know if that is the point." I ignored the comment as I slowly walked while unzipping my jacket. Then, as I walked I saw a very tall bald man look at me from behind the counter as well (I believe he is a manger of the cafe) and I could tell he wasn't really feelin' it. I heard him say something about what I was doing being borderline somethin' somethin', but couldn't decipher what he was saying.
When I actually got up to the counter and he addressed me "Can I help you?" I turned my head slowly to look him straight in the eyes to which he replied "I consider this loitering and I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I stared for a second longer..."Can I have a bagel with peanut butter?"

This moment is where I find the most interest. It was one of the most intense moments of needed control. Control as far as fighting the fear of a much taller man, a manger for a cafe, and the fear of going against everything in my head telling me to not go against the social norms put in place for when someone asks a question; especially when staring that person straight in the eye. There were ways that I slightly gave into these pressures - not taking as long to look him in the eye, being slightly more compliant after asking for a bagel than I may usually be (not specifically asking for an 'everything' bagel). However, I could while I did feel the pressure, and did give in slightly, I also pushed beyond these moments, ignoring those pressures in many other ways. Rejecting them. Taking control of the helm instead of letting myself be guided (hijacked?) by my socially-conscious self.

He was so angry with me, furious even. Why did he have such a violent reaction to a fairly innocent act? This I do not know. What societal norm was I going against to even provoke such a rise in him? This I also don't know. The only thing I really know is that there are societal norms in all societies, and when individuals go against those norms, it can cause uproars of varying levels - often quite negative for some reason. I know this happens, and I know most individuals in these societies are afraid of (don't want to experience) the consequences involved when being "anti-norm."

The consequences in this case were not being able to stay in the location I was in, and not being able to get a bagel, which I was quite looking forward to.

While these are perfectly nasty consequences, I could have easily gotten a bagel from a different place, not even a block away. What I think was the worst consequence in my mind, what I was most afraid of, was that of getting publicly humiliated. If I had not complied with his look of "get your act together and act like you're supposed to" he would have broadcast to everyone in that cafe that I was a non-compliant member of this society. Nothing more than that. A bunch of people I never met before, and probably would never see again. It was their opinion that caused me to feel - quite honestly - a bit of terror.

It troubles me how important that was.

(on the side, freewritin' thoughts)

This isn't the first time soloing has happened in this project. I soloed back at Bates for a time and then most recently next to Jimmy Johns. All of which I've written/talked about. However, I never have tackled it head on - with intention to do so. I've never really had a reason to. My knees' pain gave me reason. I'm finding a core of interest in this society thing, and most specifically in the solo thing. It confronts the reality of what we're doing - Guerrilla Dancing - head on. Almost like it strips down the act to its purest form, without any perspectives, opinions, attempts at achieving a goal (which always alters an act) without any desire to make it into anything, but instead letting it breath and just be. Just like the quote from Siddhartha that I'm in love with, "As a result of your seeking you cannot find.....it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything......because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking...because he is obsessed with his goal." Dancing. It's just dancing, without any goal or attempt to affect/gain the approval of others - because you're going into it with the knowledge people might take to it negatively. You're not expecting any approval - quite the opposite - and even if you thrive on that type of defiance, that's not why you do it (at least not in the context I've been involved in - by myself and with Jasmine). An act beyond the walls of the past, the knowledge of historical /cultural pressures. In a sense, a completely new act. An act without a web of relation and precedence.

Or at least that sounds nice. Don't know if it's really true. :P

"This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing" - Sam, from the movie "Garden State"

Guerrilla Dance - Solo (pt. #2)

The first people I talked to were viewers of Jasmine's solo dancing.

I talked to one girl who was fairly surprised by the seemingly random act of dancing in the library, a place one rarely finds much more than quiet book reading and laptop typing. Nonetheless, she was quite positive about the dancing. She thought it was gutsy, cool to see, and despite the fact that she didn't really feel like it naturally fit in a library, was glad to have it there. I asked her about the fact that she was going solo, and she simply re-emphasized how gutsy Jasmine seemed. I prodded further to see if she would ever do something similar, and she again talked about guts: how she would only have enough to do it if she had a group of her friends to do it with her.

Soon thereafter, I talked to two other girls who I had spotted looking and laughing to each other about Jasmine. We had a long conversation that touched on many points, but one that really stuck out to me came when I asked about Jasmine's soloing, and whether or not these two girls would ever do the same thing. They both laughed, and voiced how one of them had suggested just that idea, of joining in: "I will if you'll come with me." They decided not to, but it kept this idea of soloing in the forefront of my mind. It was so important to have someone else to stand next to when going against what was established as the proper way to act in a specific setting. (Not that this was a surprise to me. Going against what the majority deems as appropriate is a well accepted difficulty in the life of many humans: ex. high school, media, religion, art in general, etc. but) Why was this so important? Both these girls, and the one I had previously talked to had expressed quite an interest in joining. They all wanted to do it, but didn't have the "guts" to unless a friend was beside them. What strength was there in this extra person? What did a partner offer that was a substitute for their lack of guts? And whatever was holding them back - society, culture, the "norm," rules - was holding them back from an experience that seemed enjoyable to them. They wanted to dance on the staircase of Thompson Library, in plain view of four stories worth of fellow studying students and passerbys. Yet there was some danger they wouldn't risk acting against. An entity of some sort that could hurt them. The joy in dancing wasn't worth the possible consequences.

These consequences...

Guerrilla Dance - Solo (pt. #1)

This whole idea of solo dancing in a place designated for a completely different type of behavior is slowly garnering an intense amount of attention in my mind.

A dancer (Jasmine) and I took a trip to our local library to dance, and as an experiment (and because my knees are shot from repeatedly dancing on concrete) I had her dance alone. First she danced without any music for about 20 minutes, a break, then danced for another 20 or so minutes with an iPod on.

The question was, would there be any difference with this dancing experience with a single dancer versus the groups of three or four that usually go out?

The difference was there, and I soon felt bad for knowingly putting my dancer into the...lion's den, if you will. I saw looks like I always do, and saw Jasmine dance with infectious joy and fearlessness, like I always do. At first, I found nothing irregular. However, time went on and I myself began to feel embarrassed for her - despite my own involvement in the project. There was something about her up on the staircase, a lone figure in her attempt to do something out of the ordinary. How horrible it seemed...

Beyond that feeling of my own, I didn't see any other obvious signs of real negativity. Until of course I actually went and talked to others...